Joy is not in things; it is in us. Richard Wagner
Some of you may remember me. I was a contributor to ISM and three of my posts still survive. Some personal problems I have experienced of late have had some catastrophic results, including the destruction of the majority of my record collection. This, however, in the scale of things, is only a minor disaster, almost insignificant. The loss of the vinyl has put things in perspective for me. I had invested 15 years of my life into gathering this collection together, but in doing so had managed to put them ahead of everything else that was important in my life, like family and friends.
I would rather stay in and listen to music, find comfort in my records, than socialise with those who cared about me. Records were my comfort, my security, my escape, my joy, my drug. Years ago, I would isolate myself for days, locked indoors, listening to music, trying to make mixes. One of the main reasons that I started djing was so that I wouldn’t have to converse with people and be socially adept. Or, should I say, improve my social ineptness. But it also fuelled my fragile ego as I could become the focus at parties. It was all about hunting down the rare vinyl, finding that elusive tune. An exhaustive search that was never satisfied.
What’s the point of this self-obssessed, navel-gazing bullshit, you ask (I feel like I’m on Dr Phil)? Well, I’m getting there. My point is that my record-collecting love of music was unhealthy. Passion for something is good, no doubt, but when it’s distorted, is obssessive/compulsive, that is unhealthy. Everyone who reads this blog is a music lover, and probably can’t imagine life without music. I’d say I’ve listened to about two-hour’s worth of music in the last three months, and I don’t miss it as much as I thought I would.
It’s hard for me to listen without being reminded of my woes and those I’ve caused (and I’m not talking about the loss of my vinyl). But it is also, in some ways, a blessed relief, because I am no longer beholden to the records, they no longer compete for supremacy in my order of thinking and I can concentrate on what should always have taken precedence in my life.
This, of course, is my personal perspective and experience and is my own myopic view, but I am just trying to serve this up as a warning, a word of caution. Everything in moderation, as my mother always says. If only it were that easy.
12 Comments
Wooah, that’s heavy, I love vinyl as a format, but it’s music that’s most important. I don’t “get” collector types anyway, those who seem to impart more importance on the rarity of their vinyl, those who need that first press, even though it may not sound as good as a later and more easily obtainable remastered version. Anyway, I digress, music and art in general are important in life, but not to the detriment of family or friends of course, unless you are a musician, in which case I selfishly want you to invest every ounce of your soul in it! 😉
I try not to be too obsessive about it, and keep it in hobby territory.
Good to hear/read from you again Aidano, sorry for your troubles.
Very sorry to hear about the loss of your records. Its what’s on the records that’s important though – I’ve certainly been guilty of losing sight of this in the past myself.
Yeah, mp3’s are a lot easier to move around with. Did you buy a laptop when you traded the vinyl?
jesus, im sorry to hear that man. real heavy shit, and honest words. my heart and thought go out to you. much respect.
great post, i’m sure many of us have been in some similar situations as yourself because of music/records, but personally speaking it never got too bad for me, but this does serve as a warning to when things can go too far. thanks.
When Im in trouble I always think -no matter what I will always have music- and I dont mean the vinyls cds and mp3s.Even if my hard drive was completely erased it’s like 10 tracks I need.
deep post…but now you got me wondering how your collection was ‘destroyed’? Fire? Flood? Theft? Had to sell it all to pay off that mounting credit card bill?
I’m glad to see you’re still alive, I thought that you fell off the face of the earth
I’ve been there – there is life after vinyl! – and you also save money on vaseline.
what’s vaseline got to do with vinyl??
Slave to the rhythm it’s a constant balancing act.
I like this old lyric from an oft under percieved disco tune…
“If you meet a girl who should never cry
just don’t believe her teardrops run dry
it’s a lie, it’s a lie
you’re the one whose heart got too dry
if you can’t get a tear, a dribble nor a drop
you’re not a dj your show is a flop
it’s a flop, it’s a flop” …
I never forget that one.
still trying to figure out the vaseline comment 🙂